Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Jesus and The Terminator...They'll both be back



re Grand Wizard Temple's post 'God has bad aim'. It appears the giant Jesus of Ohio (also formerly known as 'touchdown Jesus) will be rebuilt much like the terminator robots of Skynet. Link to the full article is here: http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/dayton-news/rebuilt-jesus-statue-will-be-fireproof-pastor-says-763039.html.



The aftermath of what Temple assumes was bad aim on the part of God has an eerily familiar look to it... a kind of foreshadowing of the coming robot apocalypse, which may or may not precied the coming zombie apocalypse. The statue, or Jesusinator, will be rebuilt possibly on a larger and more farcical scale. The clever twist to this spiritual meccano set will be that this time it will be fireproof! This is brilliant as the previous construction of metalic skeleton encased in oil-soaked rags and covered in flammable (or is it inflammable) fiberglass seems to have little staying power in the face of carelessly hurled electric bolts from the clouds, or God's feeble aim. I can only hope this new Jesusinator will have glowing red eyes and a loudspeaker that will promise his return in a ludicrous Austrian accent.

It is heartening to know that 'pastors' from around the world (an honourific incidentalywhich is as hollow and meaningless as proclaiminmg oneself a Jedi or a pet psychic) are taking time from their busy schedules of spreading mythology as fact, garnering undeserved respect and otherwise hoodwinking the sheeple, to help raise money for the rebuilding project. By helping raise money I mean, of course, scamming it from their followers. All well and good then. The original cost $250K, but you just know that fireproofing the bugger will easily double that, especially if they increase the size as well. There's money well spent, a comfort to the homeless and hungry who no doubt will happily settle for that can of cat food and a corrugated cardboard matress rather than maybe have that cash put to, say food and shelter. Maybe it was God's way of saying 'enough with the idolatry...I mean giant statues of me as my son, who I ended up killing and in essense therefore committed suicide, but then raised myself from dead, and I don't even like kids, hence I murdered me...er...sorry, I wandered off topic a bit... anyway, just help the FUCKING POOR INSTEAD OF WASTING CASH ON THIS KIND OF SHIT'. Maybe it was just a freak weather event, although the article says that Jesuszilla's hand burst into flame, which would have been kick ass to see.

'Iv you doo not rebent, I vill hund you down und derminate you. Chust remember, I vill be Bach!'

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