Haiti super-fun news roundup

The scientologists have landed in Haiti, complete with matching yellow shirts, to help the ease the suffering of the earthquake vitims...and by help, I mean engage in the usual ass-hattery that this particular band of dim-bulb mouth breathers are known for. Led by the self-important bloated, empty-headed windbag that is John Travolta, the church of scientology has landed a plane load of so-called ministers to help out victims with 'purification rundowns' and 'touch assist' techniques. These are just two of the methods invented out of thin air by L. Ron Hubbard, the second rate pulp sci-fi author and his ridiculous, made-up religion, a religion that has attracted multitudes off the stupid, the gullible, the addle-minded and of course celebrities, most of whom fit all three of the preceding catagories. The best one can say about Hubbard is that he maybe was having a laugh, and also that he is dead. Meanwhile, his particular brand of glaring bullshit continues to flourish, endorsed by rich and famous superficial idiots with far too much money and far to little in the arena of critical thinking skills. Once someone like dwarf actor Tom Cruise, or noodling musician Beck, or 'I though he was Jewish' Jerry Seinfeld endorse this moronic cult, the slack-jawed, tabloid reading, high colonic cleanse crowd is sure to follow. Frankly, I have little sympathy for the bulk of these fat-arsed jackoffs for whom thinking is a painfully unnatural experience. Instead, any prattle peddled by virtually any so-called celebrity becomes Truth, and negates teh need for actual analysis. To this end we have certifiable loons like Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carey, who continue to bleat about the spurious link between autism and vaccination, in the process almost certainly being directly responsible for many childhood deaths and a drop in herd immunity. We have people like Susan Sommers, the second rate, has-been actress who squawks about curing cancer with colonic irrigation and untested dietary supplements while at the same time disparaging medical science. And here I was under the delusion that a medical degree of some sort is required to promote medical treatments! Apparently a one-time appearnce on the cover of any tabloid will due in its stead.

The premise of scientology is that humans are in fact immortal beings who have forgotten their origin or descent from extraterrestrial beings called, I believe, Thetans. Part of Scientology involves the process of 'auditing', a kind of counselling whereby past traumas are re-visited, and wallets lightened. As they progress through the audit process, the participants progress to higher and higher levels of consciousness, although not apparently conscious enough to notice their bank accounts becoming ever more enlightened as well. It is all blatant bullshit, and any right thinking person would bhave to be feeble minded indeed to fall for any of it. But I digress...

To be fair, Travolta, who despite his obvious mental deficiencies was actually able to fly a 707 to Haiti, did haul along some supplies and 'medics' along with a number of credulous dunces...sorry, ministers. The ministers 'helped' by, among other laughable practices, reconnecting energy pathways with therapeutic touch and other such alternative therapies, which is another way of saying they did nothing at all. By all accounts, they arrived without food or water, but lots of cash, although where they were going to purchase these items on an island flattened by an earthquake is anyone's guess. It has been put forward that the real reason the scientologists flocked to Haiti like priests to an altar boy convention is that they want to recruit new members. On the surface, this does not seem surprising as evangelists and fundies of all stripes strive for the same thing, an unquestioning flock of simple-minded human flotsam to increase their following and overflow their bank accounts. However, there is a potentially darker motive here, the recruitment of impoverished, unemployed Haitians to work as housekeepers and nannes and the like back in the states. Hell, these people made a pact with the devil, as Pat Robertson so clearly pointed out. They practice a mash-up of Christianity and Voodoo. They speak Creole, a 'language' that is as indecipherable as the gutteral ramblings of a Scotsman during a particularly heroic bout of drinking, which is to say most of the time. These people are ripe for the picking and the subsequent servitude. They'll believe anything. I may be off base here, but let me just let me leave this link http://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2010/01/12/18635078.php for your perusal. It is, at the very least, an entertaining and eyeopening read. Mind you, if I was a Haitian who had to eat dirt for dinner and live in a refrigerator packing crate with twelve members of my family and a pack of feral dogs, I might think the chance to move to a developed nation and maybe have the box all to myself would be a great idea. The sad think is, if the article above is to be believed, this is being expidited by the US governments fast tracking of immigration requests when made on behalf of prospective refugees by a religious organization. Scientology, for all its bafflegab, harebrained nonesense is classified as a religion. THey also have the attendant tax-free status, thank you very much. Can we say celebrity tax shelter?

Yeah, well, fuck you scientology. You are nothing but an organization that thrives on hoodwinking the creduous and weak-minded, those lost souls who are searching for answers to deeper questions about life and its meaning. In return for their unyeilding submission to a set of arbitrary and arguable inane rulea and edicts, you demand money and obedience. You tell them that they are immortal, should they only believe hard enough in your particular brand of spiritual enlightenment. Your entire religion is based on a book of fairy tales. You insist that your religion has the power to enact miraculous cures by the mere laying on of hands. It is outright nonsense. It is certainly not at all like Christianity, which...um...never mind.