Beating the fuck out of heathens with God's love stick

Read an enjoyable article today:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/02/us/02fight.html?hp

God apparently really loves fighters. As you may remember from one of my previous posts, I noted that God seems to have a real love for UFC heavyweight champions, but apparently God's love also extends to many other fighters.

Some of that love is particularly obvious from this quote taken from the above article:

“Hard punches!” [Renken, Grand Poobah of Xtreme Ministries] shouted from the sidelines of a martial arts event called Cage Assault. “Finish the fight! To the head! To the head!” Yes, what better way to show a sinner God's love than to punch him really hard in the head? No better way, that's what. Interestingly, the motto of Xtreme Ministries is “Where Feet, Fist and Faith Collide.” I guess they fight in organizations that don't allow elbows, knees or submissions. Also, I am not too clear if feet and fist are colliding with faith, and why they would be colliding rather than colluding. I am also not sure why there are feet, but only one fist doing the colliding. Must be some kind of crazy jump-kick-punch move. I think they should call feet and fists throw for/at faith, "God blows."

Here is Brandon Beals, the lead pastor at Canyon Creek Church in Seattle: “what led me to find Christ was that Jesus was a fighter.” That's true! He really was a fighter...if by being a fighter he means turning your cheek and letting a bunch of filthy Romans beat you mercilessly and then nail you to a cross to die in front of your family. I don't remember ever seeing any other fighters do that, but it's Jesus, and so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

But, what moral lesson should we draw from beating the shit out of people in the name of God? I suggest we learn from the wise words of Ryan Dobson, yet another wizard in Godwarts. Here's Ryan: “The man should be the overall leader of the household.”

Hmmm. That doesn't seem right to me.

I think that is because I don't think it goes far enough. The man should be the overall leader of the universe. Except for God. God is number 1.

JESUS DIDN'T TAP!