Radio God

Cruising the Catholic News Service today, I find this article:

http://www.catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/1002887.htm

As always, to save you the trouble of reading it, I'll give you my admittedly biased summary and response. This particular news service bulletin was dedicated to obscuring the link between Vatican Radio and cancer, specifically that higher rates of leukemia and lymphoma are observed in residents near the holy transmission towers.

Directly from God's DJs, aired in a killing cancer wave by Vatican Radio: "Vatican Radio will present its own comments and counter-deductions from its own technical consultants as soon as possible." Of course, the Vatican is operating under the notion that fact is really just a matter of opinion, and facts can be voted out of existence, so don't expect any mercy for the Vatican's latest series of victims...largely children again, as luck would have it. To that end, I present a corrected version of the quote above: "Vatican Death Radio will present its lies from biased mercenaries unless the problem goes away on its own."

But Vatican Radio, I've got a better idea: turn the fucking radio off until you know for sure that your electro-pap isn't killing people. I know caring for the lives of people showered by God's radio waves is probably an odd humanist concept, but it kind of makes sense, right? I mean, it's the fucking radio, for fuck's sake. Probably, what, 25 people still listen to Vatican radio regularly? Stream it on the internets if you just can't find another electron stream to piss into.

In any case, assuming the words of God are directly killing people (in radio format, that is, since the words of God(s) have been killing people ever since God(s) started talking), doesn't that seem a bit strange? I mean, shouldn't there be a healing effect? And, for that matter, what the hell is God doing about this? He can level Haiti, jiggle Ottawa, and ruin Lono's flight home from DevilCon, but he can't stop his own radio program from rotting little kids' insides?

Shit...wait a second...I don't like kids either. Now I get it. Never mind, I take it all back.

TEMPLE OUT!