Live from SIn CIty...

I'm currently in Las Vegas, that den of inequity, the land of debauchery, gambling, gluttony, sodomy and poor grasp of statistics. As I type this, I have just finished my second bottle of Dom Perignon, consumed just after snorting cocaine off the taut belly of a latino hooker. She's a feisty one and its all I could do to secure the ball gag and handcuffs before she had a chance to run screaming and naked from my luxurious suite high atop the hotel Gommorah. This scenario though would hardly register a nod from the local constabulary who are generally too busy with fishing bloated, bullet-riddled corpses out of hotel pools while quietly hustling the celebrity at fault out of town on the next high speed jet copter. So, as far as sinfulness goes, I am a rank amateur..

Which probably explains how I managed to survive so far without a hint of a lightening strike from above. Frankly, if I were God, I could do worse than to raze this place to the ground. I think though that this place is full of the pious and the virtuous, who waddle about in lumpen somnambulation, mindlessly pumping coins into fruit machines and gorging on yet another all-you-can-eat buffet. The real die-hards have the food brought to them by scantily clad cocktail waitresses who, with enough of a tip, will funnel food directly into the gaping maws of the entranced gamblers, who are too involved with the next Big Win to bother chewing. These people may initially seem revolting and sad, but they pray very hard for that slot machine to line up just right, and its that devotion that saves their necks and souls.

I must be flying under God's all-seeing radar I guess, my pitiful attempts at sin mere chaff. Vegas is an interesting place indeed, a plastic artificial oasis plopped into the middle of a landscape that seems to have been transplanted directly from the moon. It is dry, and hot...not unlike Hades itself. It is a cauldron of sweat and money, and everywhere lurk the predatory, just waiting for their cut of the Action. Frankly, I think God just gave Satan a pass and let him have this place, to keep him out of trouble or at least in view.

I like it here.